he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
