Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize