Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
