Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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