ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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