Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
