I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Randomize
