How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
