Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
