Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
