Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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