Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
