You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
