fuck your aforementioned shoe
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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