What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
