We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
