ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
