he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
time to smoke my breakfast
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
