I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
