i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
