I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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