I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Bring me that man meat
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
