I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
