girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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