Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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