so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
