similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize