Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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