Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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