How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
