Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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