ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My cat gives me a boner
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
