We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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