I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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