Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
