This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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