either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
