I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
