I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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