idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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