hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
