using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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