so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
nutella sex= disaster
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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