my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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