I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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