i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize