ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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