quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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