I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
