yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
