i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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