He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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