I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
