I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
