we're blogging at a bar
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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