Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
