adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
