I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
