My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
