I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize